Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in shoelesstom's LiveJournal:

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Friday, September 16th, 2005
11:40 am	Wrapped Around Your Finger You consider me the young apprentice Caught between the Scylla and Charibdes. Hypnotized by you if I should linger Staring at the ring around your finger. I have only come here seeking knowledge, Things they would not teach me of in college. I can see the destiny you sold turned into a shining band of gold. I'll be wrapped around your finger. I'll be wrapped around your finger. Mephistopheles is not your name, But I know what you're up to just the same. I will listen hard to your tuition, And you will see it come to it's fruition. I'll be wrapped around your finger. I'll be wrapped around your finger. Devil and the deep blue sea behind me Vanish in the air you'll never find me. I will turn your face to alabaster, Then you'll find your servant is your master, And you'll be wrapped around my finger. I'll be wrapped around your finger. You'll be wrapped around my finger. I'll be wrapped around your finger..... It's been a damn long time since I have updated this thingy, so I'll try to recap a little about what happened from then and now. I got a job as a cashier at Best Buy which is pretty good and not too much hard work, and its cool because my bosses are cool and let us have a lot of freedom. Also everyone has left for college and I am left here with a select few whom I don't seem to talk to much anymore. I'm very lonely right now. Every day I'm sitting on the computer from about 11 to 330 just sifting through internet sites about whatever pops in my head or playing the same games of Warcraft 3. I dont have much to look forward to because I have an eerie feeling that things aren't going to change, other than the fact that school is going to start. People say that you are going to make friends but almost everyone who says that is living on campus, whereas I am commuting, which makes things harder because you miss out on all the little things at college and the experience of being there. Also you dont have a roommate or anyone really to help you ease into the process so you are just desperate to find anyone and anything to do. Really got into this Lost show. I've been renting the dvds of it and I just keep wanting more and I'm really pumped about the season premiere next wednesday. Well, I'll quit my complaining for now and leave you witha quote from a movie, though I Don't know how recent it will be. Private First Class Doll: [narrating] What is this great evil? How did it steal into the world? From what seed, what root did it spring? Who's doing this? Who's killing us? Robbing us of light and life. Mocking us with the sight of what we might have known. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 26th, 2005
2:15 pm	Life on Mars? It's a god-awful small affair To the girl with the mousy hair But her mummy is yelling "No" And her daddy has told her to go But her friend is nowhere to be seen Now she walks through her sunken dream To the seat with the clearest view And she's hooked to the silver screen But the film is a saddening bore For she's lived it ten times or more She could spit in the eyes of fools As they ask her to focus on Sailors fighting in the dance hall Oh man! Look at those cavemen go It's the freakiest show Take a look at the Lawman Beating up the wrong guy Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know He's in the best selling show Is there life on Mars? It's on Amerikas tortured brow That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow Now the workers have struck for fame 'Cause Lennon's on sale again See the mice in their million hordes From Ibeza to the Norfolk Broads Rule Britannia is out of bounds To my mother, my dog, and clowns But the film is a saddening bore 'Cause I wrote it ten times or more It's about to be writ again As I ask you to focus on Sailors fighting in the dance hall Oh man! Look at those cavemen go It's the freakiest show Take a look at the Lawman Beating up the wrong guy Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know He's in the best selling show Is there life on Mars? Life on Mars Lyrics from the great David Bowie Been a while since I updated so i figured I should jump on that. Since I last updated, I went to Orlando and visited the Magic Kingdom, Disney Mgm, And both Universal Studios Parks. It was a fairly fun time, but I got homesick near the end of the trip. Also I have decideed that my favorite writer/director combo for movies is the magnificent Wes Anderson. For those of you who don't know who Wes Anderson is, which is most of you, he is the man who wrote Bottlerocket, Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums, and The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. Excellent movies that just have a certain charm to them and watching them makes me happy. Orientation was interesting and I got a pretty kick butt scedule so it ended up being ok through. Met interesting people. . . I didnt really have anything to say in this entry other than that me Sid and Rickey need to have that movie night/day really soon. Qutoe from BottleRocket. Max OUt. Kumar: Man, I blew it. I blew it, man. Anthony: Kumar, what were you doing in the freezer? Kumar: I don't know, man, I lose my touch, man. Dignan: Did you ever have a touch to lose, man? Current Mood: sleepy (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 6th, 2005
4:56 pm	I Still Who are you now? Are you still the same Or did you change somehow? What do you do At this very moment when I think of you? And when I'm looking back How we were young and stupid Do you remember that? Baby No matter how I fight it Can't deny it Just can't let you go I still need you I still care about you Though everything's been said and done I still feel you Like I'm right beside you But still no word from you Now look at me Instead of moving on, I refuse to see That I keep coming back And I'm stuck in a moment That wasn't meant to last (to last) I try to fight it Can't deny it You don't even know That I still need you I still care about you Though everything's been said and done I still feel you Like I'm right beside you But still no word from you Ohhhh Wish I could find you Just like you found me Then I would never let you go (without you) Though everything's been said and done (yeah) I still feel you (I still feel you) Like I'm right beside you (like I'm right beside you) But still no (still no word) word from you Backstreet Boys from their Never Gone Album. Very good song. Recently saw Land of the Dead which was an excellent movie, but not quite as good as the old Dawn of the Dead, but better than the new one. Also saw Sin City again last night, which still was as incredible as the first time I saw it. It is one of those movies that when you leave the theater you know that you have seen something really good and it was just damn excellent. But my highlight last night was finding DOg Day Afternoon for only 6 bucks. Great movie and quite a steal at that price. I am actually beginning to miss the big group get togethers that we always used to seem to have. Everything is getting much more dull because we have literally expended all of our options for what to do in the evening hours. This is not the blockbuster summer that I think everyone has been looking forward to as our last hurrah. But last weekend Emmily Otte's and Natalie's graduation party's both ended up being pretty excellent and a whole load of fun which gives me hope for the last half of july and the beginning of August. For a long time now I have said that I have hated most of the people that I hang out with and would not miss them if they were gone. I find that everytime I hang out, I always am able to recognize who is gone and in reality that I really do love almost everyone I hang out with. Even though I have said and done terrible things to some of these people and wanted to leave them, I don't know how I'm going to live without them now. Well now its time for a quote or something. Max out. Steve Zissou: I'm going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I'm going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 25th, 2005
10:44 am	The Future Freaks Me Out I’m on fire and now I think I’m ready to bust a move Check it out I’m rocking steady Go! Betty won’t stop listening to modern rock How she hates to be alone I try to compensate her lack of love with coffee cake Ice cream and a bottle of ten dollar wine she says hey I rock the Haro sport I rock the cow girl blues I rock too fast for love I’m footloose in my Velcro shoes What’s up with Will and Grace? I don’t get drum and bass The future freaks me out I’m on fire and now I think I'm ready to bust a move Check it out I’m rocking steady To the beat in my head It goes oh, oh, oh, oh I know that she’s the only one I’d rather waste our time together Yea, ‘cause we can get down Betty can’t quit carving question marks in my wrist How come we’re so alone We waste away the days with nicotine and television samples From an era we hate to admit we embrace We fail to represent We fail to be content We fail at everything we ever even try to attempt And so the story goes As only Betty knows It’s time to take control (Get Down) I’m on fire and now I think I'm ready to bust a move Check it out I’m rocking steady To the beat in my head It goes oh, oh, oh, oh I know that she’s the only one I’d rather waste my time with her (Betty, I need you I miss you I’m so alone without you To call up on the weekends with my cellular phone) Betty it’s so hard to relate To the whole human race I don’t know where to begin I don’t know where to begin If we can both find a way To do the things that we say We might not sit in our rooms And drink our daydreams away Betty, I’m a dreamer No I’m not a vicious screamer Oh betty won’t you.. ah fuck it I’m on fire and now I think I'm ready to bust a move Check it out I’m rocking steady To the beat in my head It goes oh, oh, oh, oh I know that she’s the only one I’d rather waste our time together Yeah, ‘cause we can get down Motion City Soundtrack is a surprise for me to be liking. A lot has happened since I last updated, but we will start with senior trip. Kinda late to be talking about it, but it is something big for everyone. Personally, I thought senior trip was ok and only more of the same of what we do here at home with the exception of the beach. Not to say that there were not a lot of fun moments, just nothing ultra super special. Also, people should know when to put the bottle down. What bothers me about the people I hang out with when they drink is that they seemed to drink for the sake of drinking, just to say they did. How much everyone drank was being constantly analyzed by everyone else and frankly, no one in our group is really fun when they are drunk. They are more of a bother to the sober people. Actually I got rather pissed off many a times by drunk people and their antics because they just were being crazy so they could say, "Remember when I. . . ." Fucking pointless bullshit. Regret After senior trip, there was and still is a many a graduation parties. I think gradation parties are generally fun but a lot of times uncomfortable becauase its like the friends and then the peoples family, who are constantly observing you and your habits. Land of the Dead came out yesterday and I'm looking forward to seeing that sometime soo. I just watched the old Dawn of the Dead last night and got myself hyped up again for the fourth installment of the "Dead" series. I dont't know what else to say right now so I'm going to leave and have a quotie. Max out. Actually two quotes. "I ask not for your pity, just the acceptance of what I did no matter how wrong it was or how I have hurt you." Frank Pierce: Oh, I see. With all the poor people of this city who wanted only to live and were viciously murdered, you have the nerve to sit here, wanting to die, and not go through with it? You make me sick! Current Mood: angry (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 31st, 2005
4:49 pm	What Brian Boitano Would Do I'm not actually going to say anything but last night I inspired myself to go home and watch South Park Bigger Longer and Uncut and remembered its epicness and here is its best song. What would Brian Boitano do If he was here right now, He'd make a plan And he'd follow through, That's what Brian Boitano'd do. When Brian Boitano was in the olympics, Skating for the gold, He did two sow cows and a triple lutz, While wearing a blind fold. When Brian Boitano was in the alps, Fighting grizzly bears, He used his magical fire breath, And saved the maidens fair. So what would Brian Boitano do If he were here today, I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two, That's what Brian Boitano'd do. I want this V-chip out of me, It has stunted my vo-ca-bu-lar-y. And I just want my mom To stop fighting everyone For Wendy I'll be an activist, too, Cos that's what Brian Boitano would do. And what would Brian Boitano do, He'd call all the kids in town, And tell them to unite for true That's what Brian Boitano would do. When Brian Boitano travelled through time To the year 3010, He fought the evil robot kings and saved the human race again And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids, He beat up Kubela Kong. Cos Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from an-e-y-body So lets all get together, And unite to stop our mom's And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too, Cos that's what Brian Boitano do. And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too, Cos that's what Brian Boitano dooooo, That's what Brian Boitano do. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 29th, 2005
1:08 pm	Feel Good Inc City breaking down on a camel's back They'll just have to go coz they don't know wack So all ya fill the streets it's appealing to see And you won't get undercounted cause you're damn ass free You got a new horizon it's an ephemaral style In a melancholy town where we never smile And all I want to hear is the message beep My dreams they come a kissin' cause I don't get sleep no Windmill windmill for the land Turn forever hand in hand Take it all there on your stride It is ticking fallin' down Love forever love is free Turn forever you and me windmill windmill for the land Is everybody in? Laughing Gas, these Haz mats Fast Cat, lining them up like ass cracks Lay these ponies at the track It's my chocolate attack Shoot I'm stepping in hotter this year Care bear reppin' it harder this year Watch me as I gravitate hahaha Gonna ghost town This Motown With your sound you're in the blink Going to bite the dust Can't fight with us With your sound you kill the inc. So don't stop get it, get it Until your Cheddar's heavy And watch the way I navigate ha ha Windmill windmill for the land Turn forever hand in hand Take it all there on your stride It is ticking fallin' down Love forever love is free Turn forever you and me windmill windmill for the land Is everybody in? Gorillaz latest single off their their new album, good stuff. Erin and Sid's graduation parties were most excellent and proved to entertain me throughout the entire day. Summer has been ultra cool so far because I know every time I go to sleep that im not gonna have to wake up and do something, which is the best feeling in the planet. I think its like 6 days now and we'll be in florida partying it up massively. So stoked (haven't used that word in a while). Its gonna be amazing, or so I hope. Leave you with a quote. Max out. What can you expect when you're on top? You know? It's like Napoleon. When he was the king, you know, people were just constantly trying to conquer him, you know, in the Roman Empire. So, it's history repeating itself all over again. Current Mood: cheerful (Comment on this)
Monday, May 23rd, 2005
8:40 pm	St. Elmos Fire (Man in Motion) Growin' up, you don't see the writing on the wall Passin' by, movin' straight ahead, you knew it all But maybe sometime if you feel the pain You'll find you're all alone, everything has changed Play the game, you know you can't quit until it's won Soldier on, only you can do what must be done You know in some way you're a lot like me You're just a prisoner and you're tryin' to break free Chorus: I can see a new horizon underneath the blazin' sky I'll be where the eagle's flying higher and higher Gonna be your man in motion, all I need is a pair of wheels Take me where my future's lyin', St. Elmo's Fire Burning up, don't know just how far that I can go (just how far I go) Soon be home, only just a few miles down the road I can make it, I know I can You broke the boy in me, but you won't break the man (chorus) I can climb the highest mountain, cross the wildest sea I can feel St. Elmo's Fire burnin' in me, burnin' in me Just once in his life a man has his time, and my time is now, I'm coming alive I can hear the music playin', I can see the banners fly Feel like you're back again, and hope ridin' high Gonna be your man in motion, all I need is a pair of wheels Take me where my future's lyin', St. Elmo's Fire (chorus) I can climb the highest mountain, cross the wildest sea I can feel St. Elmo's Fire burnin' in me Burnin', burnin' in me, I can feel it burnin' Oooh, burnin' inside of me... (to fade) The theme song from St. Elmos Fire, great song, which is accompanied by a good movie. As tomorrow is my last day that I will ever step into the doors of Saint Xavier High School, I am both excited for summer but saddened because I know eventually I will forget about 98% of the people there. I already am missing a few of the novelties of the day, such as singing bad 80's songs in AP Chemistry with Harjus, Joe Schinamin(last name is tough), and Mike Iacono, as Doctor Homoelle tried to teach us. I also miss hearing how worthless theolgy class is from Zac Lee and that entire side of the room. But opened up for me and everyone else is the opportunity to live the life we have been dreaming about since we were children. Get the job we always wanted, find the person we will always want to be with, discover the wonders of adulthood one day at a time. What the future holds may not be clear to me at the moment, but I just know it has to end up good. Now to the summer, where memories will be made and friendships may have their final runs. I hope to see everyone even after the summer ends but I know the realities of life, but i look forward to spend life remembering the good times i had. Quote. Max out Jules, y'know, honey... this isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them... there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you're making up all of this. We're all going through this. It's our time at the edge. Current Mood: contemplative (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 8th, 2005
9:57 pm	Dancin with Myself On the floor of Tokyo Or down in London town to go, go With the record selection With the mirror reflection I'm dancing with myself When there's no-one else in sight In the crowded lonely night Well I wait so long For my love vibration And I'm dancing with myself Oh dancing with myself Oh dancing with myself Well there's nothing to lose And there's nothing to prove I'll be dancing with myself If I looked all over the world And there's every type of girl But your empty eyes Seem to pass me by Leave me dancing with myself So let's sink another drink 'Cause it'll give me time to think If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance And I'll be dancing with myself Oh dancing with myself Oh dancing with myself Well there's nothing to lose And there's nothing to prove I'll be dancing with myself If I looked all over the world And there's every type of girl But your empty eyes Seem to pass me by Leave me dancing with myself So let's sink another drink 'Cause it'll give me time to think If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance And I'll be dancing with myself Oh dancing with myself Oh dancing with myself If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance (Scat) Dancing with myself Dancing with myself Dancing with myself Dancing with myself If I looked all over the world And there's every type of girl But your empty eyes Seem to pass me by Leave me dancing with myself So let's sink another drink 'Cause it'll give me time to think If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance And I'll be dancing with myself Oh dancing with myself Oh dancing with myself If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance Dancing with Myself from the infamous Billy Idol. Good song from a mediocre man. This weekend was prom weekend, which proved to be much more fun than I had anticipated. Had lots of fun dancing and doin the spiderman with matty k. Very creative I must say my man. Nice to see everyone being nice to each other and having everyone together for one last hurrah. Funny to see certain people make fools of themselves at Anands, but also a little sad at the end of the day. Funny to think that I had just experienced the last dance I will ever go too. Kind of a relief actually because now I don't have to worry about making a fool of myself by dancing. High Schools end looms and I couldnt be anymore pumped for summer to be quite honest. I am really gonna stay out until like three every night partying. And looking forward to prospects of no homework and total relaxation. Just watched the Simpsons and found myself contemplating the afterlife. I mean how is a man to know if he is good enough for eternal happiness and if he is condemned to hell. For all we know, God could be wanting an ultra strict interpretation of the Bible and only a very few could be going to heaven. Its hard to judge what qualities a man must possess and what life he must lead in order for acceptance into heaven. Its utterly horrifying to think of eternity(which seems nearly unthinkable) its excruciating pain. Just disturbing to think where we are going eventually. Quote then Max OUt. Wyatt Earp: What makes a man like Ringo, Doc? What makes him do the things he does? Doc Holliday: A man like Ringo has got a great big hole, right in the middle of himself. And he can never kill enough, or steal enough, or inflict enough pain to ever fill it. Wyatt Earp: What does he want? Doc Holliday: Revenge. Wyatt Earp: For what? Doc Holliday: Bein' born. Current Mood: content (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 1st, 2005
9:48 pm	I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles In our eyes are mirror images and when We kiss they're perfectly aligned And I have to speculate that God himself Did make us into corresponding shapes like Puzzle pieces from the clay True, it may seem like a stretch, but Its thoughts like this that catch my troubled Head when you're away when I am missing you to death When you are out there on the road for Several weeks of shows and when you scan The radio, I hope this song will guide you home They will see us waving from such great Heights, 'come down now,' they'll say But everything looks perfect from far away, 'come down now,' but we'll stay... I tried my best to leave this all on your Machine but the persistent beat it sounded Thin upon listening That frankly will not fly. you will hear The shrillest highs and lowest lows with The windows down when this is guiding you home Such Great Heights, Orginally Iron and Wine, made superior by the Postal Service. Good Song. Another good weekend. Saw the funny Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy and went to Mr. Clyde's home for a night. Had fun at both and thought Hitchhiker's was really funny, despite the protest of many people. Some people though you could tell never wanted to like the movie in the beginning and it reflected in their judgement of the movie. Hard to describe the feeling that i have right now. I think aggravated by everyone would be the best way to describe it, but the face that accompanies the word doesn't quite fit the feeling. More like a face with himself buried in his hands shaking. That would probably describe it the best. I guess that what comes when you hang out with the same people everyday and every weekend for so long. But then again, I will probably be told to count my blessings because without them, what do I have. Watched St. Elmos Fire and the Breakfast Club today, and realized how i should have been born like 13 years earlier and I may of had a chance at anything. Good movies. My mother criticized all the kids in the Breakfast club for being crazy and that no one would divulge that much information to people that they have known for a matter of hours. I beg to differ though. I wish every once in a while I could just talk to stranger to see where i went wrong and what I am going to do. Its nice because then there is no strings attached and you dont have to worry about them squeling. Great movie. John Hughes. Just need some time to talk, some time to think, some time to relax. Not worry about the next day or which foot I have to use to take the next step. Just want to walk. Smell the roses and appreciate the day for what it is. But for now, I just leave witha quote. Dear Mr. Vernon: We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you're crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club. Current Mood: aggravated (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 24th, 2005
1:26 am	Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For I have climbed highest mountain I have run through the fields Only to be with you Only to be with you I have run I have crawled I have scaled these city walls These city walls Only to be with you But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for I have kissed honey lips Felt the healing in her fingertips It burned like fire This burning desire I have spoke with the tongue of angels I have held the hand of a devil It was warm in the night I was cold as a stone But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for I believe in the kingdom come Then all the colors will bleed into one Bleed into one Well yes I’m still running You broke the bonds and you Loosed the chains Carried the cross Of my shame Of my shame You know I believed it But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for... U2 again with another classic, hard to beat these guys, or so I feel personally. This weekend was a decent weekend, had fun at both Natalies and at Lindsey's, so I am satisfied with that. Wish we didn't watch Napoleon, but really, what can you expect nowadays. This weekend, I watched three excellent movies, featuring one of my favorite actors now. Unfortunatly, no one will see them because they are all subtitled and only one can be dubbed. They are House of Flying Daggers, Chungking Express, and Fallen Angels. Fallen Angels almost had me in tears because the story about the mute man was very similiar to what I am feeling and going through right now. Emotionally I'm a wreck right now. When I was home all alone today, I dont think i could have ever feel more alone in my entire life. My dogs werent even keeping me company and my family was all in dayton. The entire house was really dark and it was cold and dark outside. No one was online and one person called. It was a miserable day up until the night. They dont have a hopeless thing for a face, so Iw ould really like to say that is how I feel. I feel as though all the cards are just not playing m way and I can't help it. I need a lady friend. Pathetic. I leave with a quote now from one of the three said movies. Max OUt We're all unlucky in love sometimes. When I am, I go jogging. The body loses water when you jog, so you have none left for tears. Current Mood: lonely (Comment on this)
Monday, April 18th, 2005
9:27 pm	In the Air Tonight I can feel it coming in the air tonight, Oh Lord I've been waiting for this moment, all my life, Oh Lord Can you feel it coming in the air tonight, Oh Lord, Oh Lord Well, if you told me you were drowning I would not lend a hand I've seen your face before my friend But I don't know if you know who I am Well, I was there and I saw what you did I saw it with my own two eyes So you can wipe off the grin, I know where you've been It's all been a pack of lies And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, Oh Lord I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, Oh Lord I can feel it in the air tonight, Oh Lord, Oh Lord And I've been waiting for this moment all my life, Oh Lord, Oh Lord Well I remember, I remember don't worry How could I ever forget, it's the first time, the last time we ever met But I know the reason why you keep your silence up, no you don't fool me The hurt doesn't show; but the pain still grows It's no stranger to you or me And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, Oh Lord... My main man Phil Collins, who I really hope starts up touring and makes another album. He's a God of music. Bickity Bickity Bam! This weekend was fairly decent. The play was good and Anands afterwards was excellent, as was Sid's home on Saturday evening. Good times. For the past two nights now I have watched the movie Finding Neverland, which I think deserved more from the Academy. Excellent movie that I believe really is more focused towards adults. Also watched another Johnny Depp movie, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and now I have to say with much regret there is a Johnny Depp movie that I didnt throughly enjoy. He did a god job, but the movie ran about 25 minutes too long. Upsetting to say the least. School continues to suck at my soul and stress me to the point of mental breakdown. I find it to be mainly AP Chemistry, but everything else in my life jumps on the kill Max Bandwagon. Not sure about how I feel about college. I really dont mind not getting away from my hometown or my home for that matter. I really enjoy Cincinnati and feel that as I get older it will have a lot more to offer. The realy question again though is how I am going to adapt to the new life. Many of my good friends are leaving me and even though they always say that they will stay in touch and party on breaks and junk, you always know that in the back of your mind things will never be the same and you will probably never be as good as friends as you have been, which saddens me because my best friends right now mean so much to me. And then you have to wonder about what you are doing with your life and blah and that makes everything of the future seem so Grim. Welp leave you witha quote from Finding Neverland or Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, depending on whichever has better. With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever. Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts are getting incredible kicks from things he'll never know. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, April 11th, 2005
8:19 pm	Snatch Once upon a time I was on a mind to lay your burden down And leave you where you stood You believed I could You'd seen it done before I could read your thoughts And tell you what you saw And never say a word But now that is gone Over with and done And never to return I can tell you why People die alone I can tell you why The shadow on the sun Staring at the loss Looking for the cause And never really sure Nothing but a hole To live without a soul And nothing to be learned I can tell you why People go insane I can show you how You could do the same I can tell you why The end will never come I can tell you on The shadow on the sun Shapes of every size Move behind my eyes Doors inside my head Bolted from within Every drop of flame Lights a candle in Memory of the one Who lived inside my skin I can tell you why People go insane I can show you how You could do the same I can tell you why The end will never come I can tell you on The shadow on the sun Audioslave with Shadow of the Sun. A band I am not particularly fond of, but hey, you can't mess with some good songs. This weekend was surprisingly fun, but stressful at the same time. LazerWeb and Village Green on Friday were a reminder of the good old times, but with new friends. The Mom Prom was surprisingly fun and I think my mom actually ended up enjoying herself. A little disappointed I couldn't go to Nick's afterwards, but hey, whats a guy to do. School just keeps getting more and more drawn out and I am completely lost in approximatly three classes and this week is going to be massive hell for me. But hopefully I'll be able to make it out alive. I am really just looking forward to summer and senior trip. Massive partying and fun awaits and I can already taste it. Senior Trip should be sweet as hell, but I gotta feelin that something is going to go wrong and this will take a turn for the worst. Then again, I'm just very pesssimistic and everything will prolly go without a hitch. What I'm thinking about right now is prom. Don't really know if I feel like going to it, but I kinda have to because its prom for God's sake. Too much thinking involved and too many politics. Aye caramba. I also have an overwhelming sense of hate towards many things right now and I can't really explain why. They are things that have been around for a while but recently I have been feeling so much resentment for these thing, many I couldve said I like a month or two ago. Slightly sad, but I cant help it. Now I leave with quote from title movie. Max Out. It turned out that the sweet-talking, tattoo-sporting pikey was a gypsy bare-knuckle boxing champion. Which makes him harder than a coffin nail. Right now that's the last thing on Tommy's mind. If Gorgeous doesn't wake up in the next few minutes Tommy knows he'll be buried with him. Why would the gypsies go through the trouble explaining why a man died in their campsite? Not when they can bury the pair of them and just move camp. It's not like they got social security numbers, is it? Tommy, 'The Tit', is praying. And if he isn't he fucking should be. Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 7th, 2005
9:24 pm	Nothing But Star Wars I am color...blind Coffee black and egg white Pull me out from inside I am ready I am ready I am ready I am taffy stuck, tongue tied Stuttered shook and uptight Pull me out from inside I am ready I am ready I am ready I am...fine I am covered in skin No one gets to come in Pull me out from inside I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding I am colorblind Coffee black and egg white Pull me out from inside I am ready I am ready I am ready I am...fine I am.... fine I am fine Colorblind from the Counting Crows. Excellent Song and I believe it to be their best. So I've been sick the past few days and still feel pretty yucky. Over this time I completed the first three Star Wars Movies and concluded that it is the best trilogy in movie history. Just so darn good, watch the fight between Vader and Luke in Return of the Jedi to get what I mean. So, as usual, I've been thinking about everyone again. That's my problem with sick days. I'm usual confined to the couch and forced to watch movies and think. So I was watching About Schmidt, which is a great movie right. I've probably talked about this before. It is basically the story of a lonely old man whose wife dies and he goes on to try and stop his daughter from marrying a tool bag. And now i put a quote in to tell you how I feel now ,"I know we're all pretty small in the big scheme of things, and I suppose the most you can hope for is to make some kind of difference, but what kind of difference have I made? What in the world is better because of me?" Everyone will tell a person that they make a big difference in the lives of their friends, but in reality how much truth is there in that statement. I know at least a few people agree with me in saying that half the people we hang out with wouldnt miss us if we were gone and probably another 1/8 we wish were gone. How much of an impact have we really made on each others lives in the grand scheme of things. Could we not be so easily substituted as I am sure we have been before and will be in the near future. I'm sure I will have to find substitutes for certain people, even people I consider great friends and indispensible. Because the reality is when college comes around we are going to have to find new friends for weekend to weekend basis because not all of us are going to be here. Another thought that is becoming more and more of a reality with each passing day. And now i Leave with a quote from Star Wars. Max Out. "Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger. Only your hatred can destroy me." (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 29th, 2005
11:51 am	Out There Safe behind these windows and these parapets of stone Gazing at the people down below me All my life I watch them as I hide up here alone Hungry for the histories they show me All my life I memorize their faces Knowing them as they will never know me All my life I wonder how it feels to pass a day Not above them But part of them And out there Living in the sun Give me one day out there All I ask is one To hold forever Out there Where they all live unaware What I'd give What I'd dare Just to live one day out there Out there among the millers and the weavers and their wives Through the roofs and gables I can see them Ev'ry day they shout and scold and go about their lives Heedless of the gift it is to be them If I was in their skin I'd treasure ev'ry instant Out there Strolling by the Seine Taste a morning out there Like ordinary men Who freely walk about there Just one day and then I swear I'll be content With my share Won't resent Won't despair Old and bent I won't care I'll have spent One day Out there NOt our Lady Peace, but lyrics from a song the Disney Film Hunchback of Notre Dame, which is the best Disney movie since Beauty and the Beast. But then again, I am impartial to outcast stories. Natalie's home last night was fun. Enjoyed the Army of Darkness and that awful Seal movie. Home come with our group of friends, whenever someone gets uncomfortable about an issue pertinent to our group, they try to change the subject and then everyone joins in. Nobody ever tries to talk or solve any problems so they will just lie around and eat at the roots of peoples minds. People need to talk about things or they will never feel relief or have anything solved. I want ot talk about anything that someone out there finds important. I want to talk about something that people feel and care about. I'm sick of digesting artifcial crap and being forced to look like I care about it. I want to talk even iff it makes people sad, depressed, mellow, or whatever. Despite popular belief it is ok to feel sad and often times it is very good for you. Through sadness, I have often times found a state of mind to reflect on my life and what I am doing. But people fear sadness because it is not happiness, but through sadness, a greater state of happiness can be achieved because you now know you are capable of handling these feelings. Now with a quote from the said movie about. Max Out. Take it from an old spectator, life's not a spectator sport. If watching's all you're going to do, then you're going to watch your life go by without you. Current Mood: contemplative (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 20th, 2005
10:41 pm	"Chasing Amy" Silent Bob: [to Holden] So there's me an' Amy, and we're all inseparable, right? Just big time in love. And then about four months in, I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Dumb move, I know, but you know how it is - you don't really want to know, but you just have to... stupid guy bullshit. Anyway she starts telling me all about him - how they dated for years, lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah - and I'm okay. But then she tells me that a couple times, he brought other people to bed with them - ménage a tois, I believe it's called. Now this just blows my mind. I mean, I'm not used to that sort of thing, right? I was raised Catholic. Jay: Saint Shithead. [Silent Bob backhands him. Jay raises his fist as if to strike] Silent Bob: Do something. Silent Bob: [to Holden] So I get weirded out, and just start blasting her, right? This is the only way I can deal with it - by calling her a slut, and telling her that she was used - I mean, I'm out for blood I want to hurt her - because I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling. And I'm like "What the fuck is wrong with you?" and she's telling me that it was that time, in that place, and she didn't do anything wrong, so she's not gonna apologize. So I tell her it's over, and I walk. Jay: Fucking-A. Silent Bob: No, idiot. It was a mistake. I wasn't disgusted with her, I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small - like I'd lacked experience, like I'd never be on her level or never be enough for her or something. And what I didn't get was that she didn't care. She wasn't looking for that guy anymore. She was looking for me, for the Bob. But by the time I realized this, it was too late, you know. She'd moved on, and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which then gave way to regret. She was the girl, I know that now. But I pushed her away... [Silent Bob lights a cigarette] Silent Bob: So I've spent every day since then chasing Amy... [takes a drag from his smoke] Silent Bob: So to speak. Cinema Writing in some of its finest. Kevin Smith's best movie Chasing Amy. This weekend began good but ended in a bit of a let down with my school losing state. So that was a bummer. Of course last night i got to some of the thinking that gets me in trouble with myself. I don't ever think I am going to be satisfied with the person that I am. No matter how many times people reassure you that I am ok, I cant get over the overwhelming feeling that I am not. That also may be due to the fact that I'm not really sure who I am yet. I have gone through a lot of personality changes and phases throughout my life and maybe this is just one of them. Which got me to think about how I wish I was as kind as I was as a child. I was a good kid back who was just shy. Now i got rid of some of the shyness but lost the kind. Hard to go back once you are so far in. School sucks so bad. Everyday i get up I struggle because I know it is slowly eating my life away. That cimpiled with everything else completes a perfect picture of stress and evil. So yeah. Short entry, leave with another Kevin Smith movie quote. Max Out Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent - I don't care which one - but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator. Current Mood: stressed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 8th, 2005
8:37 pm	Fast Car You got a fast car I want a ticket to anywhere Maybe we make a deal Maybe together we can get somewhere Anyplace is better Starting from zero got nothing to lose Maybe we'll make something But me myself I got nothing to prove You got a fast car And I got a plan to get us out of here I been working at the convenience store Managed to save just a little bit of money We won't have to drive too far Just 'cross the border and into the city You and I can both get jobs And finally see what it means to be living You see my old man's got a problem He live with the bottle that's the way it is He says his body's too old for working I say his body's too young to look like his My mama went off and left him She wanted more from life than he could give I said somebody's got to take care of him So I quit school and that's what I did You got a fast car But is it fast enough so we can fly away We gotta make a decision We leave tonight or live and die this way I remember we were driving driving in your car The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk City lights lay out before us And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder And I had a feeling that I belonged And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone You got a fast car And we go cruising to entertain ourselves You still ain't got a job And I work in a market as a checkout girl I know things will get better You'll find work and I'll get promoted We'll move out of the shelter Buy a big house and live in the suburbs You got a fast car And I got a job that pays all our bills You stay out drinking late at the bar See more of your friends than you do of your kids I'd always hoped for better Thought maybe together you and me would find it I got no plans I ain't going nowhere So take your fast car and keep on driving You got a fast car But is it fast enough so you can fly away You gotta make a decision You leave tonight or live and die this way I'm aware that this song has a lot of lyrics, but I find "Fast Car," by Tracy Chapman to be one of the best songs ever written. Gets me all teary eyed wheever I hear it. So... today was another day and saw two trailers for movies I hope to see when they come out. Crash with Don Cheadle, Sandra Bullock, and Ryan Phillipe looks light a really great film along with David Duchovney's House of D. Check out the trailers and hopefully you will see what I mean. I don't know exactly why I'm updating this, I normally update it when I hear a good song and think people should see the lyrics or have some insight but right now I got nothing. Being someone is something that used to be important in my life. Everyone dreamed they would be someone important and change the world in some way. Now look at where we all are. I'm going into chemistry, some people are doing architectue (misspell) and others are also doing things that aren't making them someone. WE are just going to be living generic simple lives and thats sad. I wanted to do something that would have an impact on the world or that I would be remembered for. Well weekend isn't that far off so that's something to look forward to. Still pumped about the game in dayton, but the drive will prolly be more fun anyway. Max Out. Gotta Find a good quote. More popular movie, deserved more than it got at the Academy. "You tell God the Father it was a kindness you done. I know you hurtin' and worryin', I can feel it on you, but you oughta quit on it now. Because I want it over and done. I do. I'm tired, boss. Tired of bein' on the road, lonely as a sparrow in the rain. Tired of not ever having me a buddy to be with, or tell me where we's coming from or going to, or why. Mostly I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world everyday. There's too much of it. It's like pieces of glass in my head all the time. Can you understand? " Current Mood: contemplative (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 7th, 2005
7:43 pm	Blue Monday How does it feel to treat me like you do When you've laid your hands upon me And told me who you are I thought I was mistaken I thought I heard your words Tell me How do I feel tell me now How do I feel How does it feel? How should I feel? Tell me how does it feel? To treat me like you do Those who came before me Lived through their vocations From the past until completion They'll turn away no more And I still find it so hard To say what I need to say But I'm quite sure that you'll tell me Just how I should feel today I see ship in the harbor I can and shall obey But if it wasn't for your misfortunes I'd be a heavenly person today And I thought I was mistaken And I thought I heard you speak Tell me now How should I feel Now I stand here waiting... I thought I told you to leave me While I walked down to the beach Tell me how does it feel when your heart grows cold How does it feel? How should I feel? Tell me how does it feel? To treat me like you do The Orgy redeition of Blue Monday, a most superior cover of an 80's song by New Order. One of the Best Covers other than 99 Red Balloons by Goldfinger. This weekend was a surprise in that we did new things, but it still felt like same old same old. Leah's Birthday was Friday, which i knew about before Rock for Rupees and had no clue about until Tuesday. It was fun to skate until I shattered half the bones in my body. Catherines house was also cool, but it just felt like a been there done that situation. Nothing really is new anymore and rarely improved. I'm unfortunate to report that I found the Flashback dance to be a disappointment, especially after last years. I just want a big group of people to go out and have dinner, or have a conversation that means something at the end of the day. School is rough as usual and this weekend is going to be ultra omega rough. Basketball game Thursday should be a lot of fun though (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 1st, 2005
10:05 pm	Wonderwall Today is gonna be the day That they're gonna throw it back to you By now you should've somehow Realized what you gotta do I don't believe that anybody Feels the way I do about you now Backbeat the word was on the street That the fire in your heart is out I'm sure you've heard it all before But you never really had a doubt I don't believe that anybody feels The way I do about you now And all the roads we have to walk along are winding And all the lights that lead us there are blinding There are many things that I would Like to say to you I don't know how Because maybe You're gonna be the one who saves me ? And after all You're my wonderwall Today was gonna be the day? But they'll never throw it back to you By now you should've somehow Realized what you're not to do I don't believe that anybody Feels the way I do About you now And all the roads that lead to you were winding And all the lights that light the way are blinding There are many things that I would like to say to you I don't know how I said maybe You're gonna be the one who saves me ? And after all You're my wonderwall I said maybe You're gonna be the one who saves me ? And after an You're my wonderwall Said maybe You're gonna be the one that saves me You're gonna be the one that saves me You're gonna be the one that saves me Another Classic from quite possibly one of the Greatest Bands Ever. Oasis with Wonderwall. Video is also very classy check it out on yahoo. Went to Joe's last night which was a party and a half, but now suffer from massive sleep deprevation. Ninja fights at 12:30 in the morning are not the best ideas for an aspiring ninja. Also, I am asking for help for my next movie right now. Its not going to be another comedey. Hopefully I'll have it written by the end of the month. Also anyone with digital video recorder would be ultra omega cool. I keep finding myself getting caught up in situations I'm not quite sure that I can handle and that makes me feel really uncomfortable. Every aspect of my life has been increasing with its intensity and I'm not quite sure how I'm going to be able to take it anymore. I'm so stressed out and I feel like no matter what I do nothing can properly relieve the stress of life. I really want to find a way to get rid of it but so far everything that I have tried has either done nothing or made it worse. Too much to deal with and im not very good at life, so its a problem. Now I leave to ponder but i leave witha quote that i hope you can guess the movie. Max Out You find a glimmer of happiness in this world, there's always someone who wants to destroy it. (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 27th, 2005
6:57 pm	Pieces I tried to be perfect, but nothing was worth it I don't believe it makes me real I thought it'd be easy, but no one believes me I meant all the things I said. If you believe it's in my soul I'd say all the words that I know Just to see if it would show That I'm trying to let you know That I'm better off on my own. This place is so empty My thoughts are so tempting I don't know how it got so bad Sometimes it's so crazy That nothing can save me, But it's the only thing that I have. If you believe it's in my soul I'd say all the words that I know Just to see if it would show That I'm trying to let you know That I'm better off on my own. On my own. Ahh! I tried to be perfect it just wasn't worth it Nothing could ever be so wrong It's hard to believe me It never gets easy I guess I knew that all along. If you believe it's in my soul I'd say all the words that I know Just to see if it would show That I'm trying to let you know That I'm better off on my own. Pieces from Sum41, its humiliating how much I like that song. Oscar night is tonight so I'm pumped about that. I really would like to see Sideways upset Million Dollar Baby and The Aviator, but I got a feeling Million Dollar Baby will take it all. Sean's last night was pretty fun. He was surprised and throughout the night I had a few rather good conversations that made the whole night worthwhile, plus Ice Pirates was the Sweetest movie ever...Period. Now the part which is going to piss off that 4 bazillion people. Max's view on the sweatshops (DA DA DUMMMMMMMM). First off on the work conditions in the factories. Yeah I know that they are terrible, but we have no right to force the company to make the work enviroment safer. ANd on the people having the jobs, they need these jobs and that is why they are working there. Without these jobs they would have nothing, so dont act like someone put a gun to their head and told them they have to work there. Also, if we were to give the workers more money and safer conditions, people would just move the factory to another country causing even more problems for the workers who would probably be missing their jobs when they have nothing to make income with. The problem lies in the governments, not the company running the factories. Most of the countries where sweatshops are prevalent do not have very free markets because the governments are made of evil liberals. Free markets would allow people to branch out the sweatshops and find other employment, forcing the sweatshops to improve themselves, therefore eliminating the problem. Sure, sweatshops are bad, but the people working there need the jobs so I say keep em. Well, I'm going t start formulating ideas for a movie and pondering women so i think this is Max out. Leave with Quote... Eckhart saw Hell too. He said: The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won't let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they're not punishing you, he said. They're freeing your soul. So, if you're frightened of dying and... and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth. BTW, if you can guess this movie, ill buy you a cookie. Current Mood: angry (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 19th, 2005
4:48 pm	In your Eyes love I get so lost, sometimes days pass and this emptiness fills my heart when I want to run away I drive off in my car but whichever way I go I come back to the place you are all my instincts, they return and the grand facade, so soon will burn without a noise, without my pride I reach out from the inside in your eyes the light the heat in your eyes I am complete in your eyes I see the doorway to a thousand churches in your eyes the resolution of all the fruitless searches in your eyes I see the light and the heat in your eyes oh, I want to be that complete I want to touch the light the heat I see in your eyes love, I don't like to see so much pain so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away I get so tired of working so hard for out survival I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive and all my instincts, they return and the grand facade, so soon will burn without a noise, without my pride I reach out from the inside in your eyes the light the heat in your eyes I am complete in your eyes I see the doorway to a thousand churches in your eyes the resolution of all the fruitless searches in your eyes I see the light and the heat in your eyes oh, I want to be that complete I want to touch the light, the heat I see in your eyes in your eyes in your eyes in your eyes in your eyes in your eyes in your eyes Mr. Peter Gabriel with In Your Eyes. I dont really have anything to say in this entry. This afternoon I went to Larosas and The Village with Besl, Iacono, and Aronow. It was very nice to see people i enjoy talking to in school outside of it for once. Very pleasent change of pace for my day. Raffle Dance last night was not as miserable as I thought it to be, but would have rather been watching Constantine. Think I'm gonna do that tomorrow. So life has been going on a rather steady pace. Nothing really to note, other than i told someone something I know they won't be able to keep secret so I'm dead in that area. Only real movie I really had time to watch all week was Calitos Way with Al Pacino and John Leguizamo. Pretty good movie, but TV editing brought it down. Max's love life is the same as usual, maybe something will fly my way, but chances are i will get hit in the face with curve ball. Things just go like that for me. Sid Deka is a great man and I have the utmost respect for him. He is an honest and genunine person, something that is often hard to find among my friends. I appreciate him listening me complain and its comforting to know that he knows how I feel. He's a stand up guy and doesnt deserve so much crap. HOpefully i do something drastic that changes things for me, but prolly wont, but tonight will tell. Max Out. (2 Comments |Comment on this)